Throne of Glass: Chapter 52


Previously on Throne of Glass, Dorian convinces King Dad not to take Nehemia hostage. Later, Nehemia info-dumps the details of her heroine-esque deeds and abilities.

Note: all direct quotes are either in bold or block-quotes. If something’s in quotation marks but not bold, it’s paraphrased snark.


Chapter Index

CHAPTER 52

Yet another chapter/section that begins with Celaena waking up. Hurray.

Oh, and even better: she wakes up to see Dorian entering her bedroom. HURRAY.

Dorian’s dressed and ready for ultimate angst. He whispers that she looks like hell, then clenches his jaw and stares at the window. With more patience than I could exhibit, Celaena asks him what his deal is.

“I—I don’t know,” he said. The vacant, lost look in his eyes increased the tempo of her heart. “I haven’t been able to sleep since the duel.”

That’s touching, but I’ve waded through 384 pages of his misty murmurings, and I am so done with him.

The scene progresses exactly as you imagine it would. He sits on her bed, stiffens when she tries to comfort him, puts his face in his hands, mumbles and groans responses to her questions, etc. What a sexy beast this guy is, I can totally see why everyone’s hot for him.

With her permission, he shucks his shoes and gets cozy in her bed. So of course it’s time to turn the angst knob up a touch: she asks if Chaol has managed to recover from the trauma of killing someone in defense of innocent lives under his care. Dorian’s answer, in short: “Not yet, but he’ll get over it.” God, I hope so; Dorian’s angst is plenty.

Dorian touches Celaena’s face and apologizes for not saving her during the duel, to which she replies:

“You shouldn’t be sorry,” she said, not wanting to speak about the horrors that she’d seen, or of Kaltain’s treachery, or what Nehemia had confided in her.

Kaltain’s treachery? That’s a hilariously melodramatic exaggeration, seeing as how you were never anything but openly hateful and antagonistic to Kaltain.

Celaena snuggles up to him, and the pair decides that hey, we’re halfway through this chapter, time to piss Liam off:

“Dorian,” she began, and he flicked her on the nose. “Ow,” she said, wrinkling her nose. Though her face was peppered with bruises, miraculously, Cain hadn’t marred her in any permanent way, though the cut on the leg would leave yet another scar.

  • Oh, yeah, “miraculously” indeed. Glad our precious heroine won’t have to suffer the horror of a crooked nose or a couple missing teeth or oh I don’t know a scar anywhere easily visible to reduce her hotness rating.
  • Dorian, get your fucking fingers away from her nose. She’s a mess of fractured ribs, strained muscles, cuts, and bruises—including all over her face, which Cain had thoroughly pulverized. She looks like hell and feels worse, and you’re going to add to it by flicking her face? The fuck, dude.

Celaena asks if he had expected her to win all along, and he replies, essentially, “No shit. But I didn’t expect you to also win my heart.” Then they smooch.

Scene change and POV hop!

Seated on his glass throne, the King of Adarlan stroked Nothung’s pommel.

Hold on a sec, I snorted so hard I choked.

Duke Perrington’s kneeling before the king, but the king’s got some serious thinking to do before he acknowledges the duke. Specifically:

Though the assassin was his Champion, he had yet to send her the contract. She was close to both his son and Princess Nehemia; would appointing her somehow be a risk?

SERIOUSLY? Oh my god, you’re where Dorian got his smarts, aren’t you? I should’ve known.

But the Captain of the Guard trusted the assassin well enough to save her life. The king’s face became like stone. He wouldn’t punish Chaol Westfall—if only to avoid Dorian raising hell in the captain’s defense.

Come on, what’s the worst Dorian can do? Stamp his foot? Cry?

Ahaha, he apparently agrees with me that Dorian has some growing up to do. Looks like it’s time to stuff Dorian into a big-boy’s suit of armor and shuffle him off to “the battlefront,” wherever that is. Eyllwe, I guess?

And as for the assassin . . . once her injuries were healed, what better person to have at his bidding? Besides, there were no others in whom he could place his trust. Celaena Sardothien was his best and only choice now that Cain was dead.

I can’t anymore, you guys. I just can’t. The dumb has overwhelmed me.

At last, it’s time for the king to reveal the terrifying depths of his evil. I’m sure you’re all as shocked as I am to learn that:

  • the king’s a Wyrdmark expert,
  • he’ll keep Celaena alive to see what the deal is with her magical forehead marquee,
  • he and Perrington having matching black magic rings,
  • he and Perrington were using Kaltain and Cain as test subjects for their Wyrdmark/demony magic powers,
  • and they have unspecified Evil Plans for the continent that are about to be set into motion.

Oh, and Kaltain’s sentenced to chill in a dungeon until everyone’s forgotten about her “scandal,” at which point the king will go full-on Godfather and make her “an offer she can’t refuse.” Glad to hear she won’t be rotting to death under the castle or wherever; I’ll need Kaltain to help me get through the next book, assuming I have the willpower to read it. (No promises.)

CHAPTER TALLIES

We’re told Celaena’s A Total Badass: 3

Celaena proves she’s A Total Badass: 0

I was surprised: 0

Is every resolution chapter going to be boring? Really? Not that this should surprise me, but really?

Well, I’m guessing Chaol’s due for his “romantic scene” with Celaena next. Here’s hoping he can at least refrain from physically harming her and/or entering her room without permission.

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CHAPTER INDEX


16 thoughts on “Throne of Glass: Chapter 52

  1. Oh my gosh I finally caught up!! But just when there are only a few chapters left. This is really hilarious and like, ten thousand times better than the book itself!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hurray! Wow, I’m impressed by your dedication in catching up! These posts generally aren’t exactly short. You deserve a medal or something. 😀

      Those words are my dream come true, holy crap. Excuse me while I print them up and frame them next to my computer; they’ll be an excellent motivator when I inevitably struggle to get through the next snark.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. HAHAH! I haven’t really noticed they’re that long since I’m having way too much fun reading them.
        Actually, YOU deserve the medal for being able to endure this far. Will you be doing a read-along of Crown of Midnight?
        Ever since I started reading your snarks, I have wanted to request that you also do one of On the Jellicoe Road – which is my favorite Contemporary book, ever. I don’t know if that’s your thing, though. But I reaaally want to know your thoughts about it. Haha!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, whew. That’s a relief!

        I’ll say there’s as 95% chance that I’ll do Crown of Midnight, but it won’t be the next book on my To Be Snarked list. Give me a little time away from Celaena et al to recuperate.

        I’ve added On the Jellicoe Road to my TBR! But it sounds like it’s a good, well-written book, and I don’t think I’d have much fun snarking one of those. You’ll probably have to settle for a standard ol’ review. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. :O you have a To Be Snarked list??!MY GOSH I can’t wait. Haha I was actually a few chapters into Crown of Midnight already but decided to stop and wait for your read-along.
        Really? That’s great! I’ll be looking forward to it then 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You might want to rethink putting Crown of Midnight on hold; I probably won’t get to it for many a month, and I’d feel awful if you had to wait that long when you wanted to dive straight into it! Unlike practically everyone else in the world, I’m not great about reading things in a timely fashion. >_<

        Liked by 1 person

      5. No, it’s alright! I’m actually more excited for your read-along than diving into the book. Besides, I still have a lot of books on my TBR that are more exciting than Crown of Midnight ::

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember I had to close the book when I read this chapter for the first time. I had managed to get used to the fact that the whole love triangle was tied by their special bond of stupidity, but then the whole revelation with the king and his BFF Perrington happened and I just noped out for the day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HAHAHA I’m actually dying. She’s “miraculously” not bruised enough to leave permanent marks. I can’t even. (I’m not buying this, of course, but that’s pretty convenient). I couldn’t stop laughing. This is brilliant! I can’t believe you had the patience to get this far. It’s truly commendable. I’m definitely looking forward to the next few chapters! (Nearly there!)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Kaltain’s treachery? That’s a hilariously melodramatic exaggeration, seeing as how you were never anything but openly hateful and antagonistic to Kaltain.” Well, of COURSE Kaltain should be completely loyal and supportive to Suelaena for being absolutely no one to her and treating her with open contempt. …

    ““Dorian,” she began, and he flicked her on the nose.” And she bit his finger for being such a dick.

    “Seated on his glass throne, the King of Adarlan stroked Nothung’s pommel.” XD lol!
    It is really disappointing that even the king isn’t an intimidating baddie. I sure hope there’s someone a hell of a lot more threatening lurking behind him.

    Liked by 1 person

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