Looking back, 2016’s been a pretty ranty year for me—but there weren’t many books I genuinely hated. Color me shocked.
But I still read some incredibly awful books, and the kind folks at Hype or Like Friday are prompting us to share the worst offenders, so here. I present to you a 2016 rantlist. *Confetti rains.*
Sloppy, Melodramatic Idiocy:
The Winner’s Trilogy
I can’t believe I squandered so many hours of my life on this trilogy. What on earth was I thinking? I mean, yes, I love the premise, but the first book was one blinding red flag after another; I should’ve known better.
From the unconvincing romance to the astoundingly stupid characters to the rape used as a plot device/character motivation (twice!), and a thousand other sins besides, this trilogy was doomed to land on my OH MY GOD THESE BOOKS WHY list. I’d almost say it’s perfect snarking material, but I don’t think I have the stomach/strength of will to reread them. I can only take so much, you know?
(Well, okay, I’m a soft touch; if enough of you guys batted your eyelashes at me or whatever, I’d probably find the necessary masochism to do at least the first book.)
Unrealistic, Racist Idiocy:
Rebel of the Sands
Confession time: I think I gave this book too many stars when I initially reviewed it, whoops. Two stars felt good-hearted and amiable at the time, but looking back on the book now (even after rereading my review), I can’t remember anything to praise about it. It’s a mess, and I’m seriously reconsidering my policy of only lowering a rating within a month of reading a book.
This book took the more unpleasant and stereotyped aspects of Middle Eastern culture (as if it’s one unified culture, which obviously it’s not), smooshed them together with the “coolest” aspects of the Old American West, and drizzled on top a nonsensical plot that realistically wouldn’t have happened in the first place. And then managed to present those unrealistic events in almost the most boring possible way.
My spoiler-full critique really is too kind.
Hilarious, Incredible Idiocy:
Throne of Glass
Okay, fine, I didn’t hate this book—but only because the process of snarking it was a fucking joy. I feel a deep and not-at-all ironic affection for this book as a result of those months we spent laughing and headdesking together—but I also know I would’ve genuinely regretted every moment I spent reading it if I hadn’t been snarking it with you.
This book is an awe-inspiring disaster; its intended plot is largely absent, its characters are unlikable idiots (with the exception of Kaltain, my love), and it prodded my feminist rage to new heights with almost every chapter. It’s a masterpiece, in a terrible way.
And yes, I can’t wait to get my hands on/snark the sequel.
DID YOU MISS MY SNARK? Here’s the chapter-by-chapter index; go, read, lol with me.
Boring, Lifeless Idiocy:
Mad Miss Mimic
This review will be posted on Sunday, so, uh, spoiler alert: this book and I did not get along.
It’s in the running for the much-honored position of worst offender on this list, because it couples most of my complaints about the above books and adds to them exquisitely poor writing. Among other things, which I’ll briefly describe in my upcoming (spoiler-free) review.
Seriously, the sooner I get this eARC out of my life, the happier I’ll be.
UPDATE: At last, my review for this book has been posted.
Neither I nor any of these books exploded under the force of my rage and indignation, so it’s safe to say this wasn’t such a terrible year after all! Here’s hoping your year was equally not-too-bad.
(Oh, and three cheers for Larkin, Jill, and Britt for coming up with this topic! Come, everyone, join Hype or Like Friday; we’re reading A Thousand Pieces of You together this month, and’ll rant/squee together about it on the 30th. Don’t resist, it’ll be great.)