Snarking Obsidian: Chapter 4


Previously on  Obsidian, Katy is less concerned about Dee’s occasionally transparent limbs and Daemon’s ability to teleport than how swampy her pants get when Daemon threatens her with violence.

Note: all direct quotes are either in bold or block-quotes. If something’s in quotation marks but not bold or block-quotes, it’s paraphrased snark.


Chapter Index

CHAPTER 4

A few days later, Katy’s doing her best I’m In An Infomercial And Therefore Bewilderingly Incapable Of Performing Simple Tasks impression while washing her car, and she’s finally giving up the chore as physically impossible when Daemon’s smirk strolls onto the scene.

DAEMON: “I never thought washing a car would be so hard, but after watching you for the last fifteen minutes, I’m convinced it should be an Olympic sport.”

KATY: “You’ve been watching me like a fucking creep?”

KATY’S NETHERS: [TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR]

Daemon takes over the car-washing duty, and Katy instinctively knows that Something Is Up—and sure enough, he confesses Dee stole his keys and won’t return them until he apologizes to Katy for being an asshat. This sparks an inane, vaguely flirtatious conversation involving such riveting topics as “Do you or do you not sleep in during the summer?” and “Your sister sure is neat,” and “What do you call this shade of brownish hair, exactly?”

And through it all, Katy’s staring at his lush mouth and imagining all the kisses (more specifically, kisses “that weren’t wet and gross“) it could provide.

They eventually adjourn to Katy’s porch, where Daemon stretches himself out over her front steps and informs her that, to his endless disgust, Dee’s out of town for a week, and the only way he’ll get his keys back is by taking Katy swimming.

Miraculously, Katy responds exactly as she should: “HELL NO.”

But Daemon’s undeterred, and tests Tactic One: Insult Her.

DAEMON: “You’re super desperate for male attention, so don’t pretend you don’t wanna swim with my junk.”

Tactic One just pisses Katy off further (hurrah!), and she orders him off her porch. When he refuses, she tries to escape the situation by putting a solid locked door between them—at which point Daemon deploys Tactic Two: Threaten Her.

Daemon twisted around, catching my ankle. His grip was loose, his hand incredibly warm. I looked down at him, and he smiled at me, as innocent as an angel. “I’ll sit here all day and night. I’ll camp out on your porch. And I won’t leave. We have all week, Kitten. Either get it over with tomorrow and be done with me, or I’ll be right here until you do agree. You won’t be able to leave the house.”

I gaped at him. “You can’t  be serious.”

“Oh, I am.”

YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.

YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.

And, just to make sure the sexual tension adds an extra level of NOT OKAY to this scene, he adds:

“Or are you too shy to go swimming with me? Does the idea of getting almost naked around me make you uncomfortable?”

IT DOES, YES, GOOD JOB.

Katy tries to yank her foot free, but his grasp is as unyielding as his chiseled abs. Thank god, she commands him to let go of her ankle, and he actually obeys. But before you breathe a sigh of relief, here’s what he says as he slowly, finger by finger, lets go:

“I’m not leaving, Kitten. You’re going to do this.”

Guys, I’m accustomed to paranormal YA douchebags getting all obsessive and abusive halfway through the book, not in chapter four. I was not prepared for this. (Side note: no one should ever be prepared for this. YA, what are you doing.)

In a shocking turn of events, Katy’s mom arrives on the scene. I seriously thought we’d seen the last of her until at least the sequel.

Mom assesses the scene with a sparkle in her eye; she’s delighted to meet the studly neighbor boy, delighted Katy has come out of her shell to befriend him, delighted to accept his offer to take Katy swimming on Katy’s behalf. And meanwhile Katy and I are both staring at her in open-mouthed horror.

Smugly smug with his victorious swimming proposal, Daemon grins and heads back home, his parting shot a snide, “Twenty bucks says you wear a one-piece swimsuit.”

And rather than shouting after him that she’s still rejecting his swimming request like a rational person, Katy stares after him and thinks, “He was insufferable.

Oh my god, Katy, you’re not actually going to go, right? Let the fucker rot on your porch for a week. Your mom’s not forcing you to go; and in the unlikely event she does press the issue, just tell her he’s a legitimate creepy asshole who’s repeatedly threatened and insulted you, and you don’t feel safe with him. In fact, tell her that regardless.

And you, Katy’s mom, what are you doing? You swore you were going to be a standard absentee parent; why are you shoving your nose into the plot like this? Stop it. This is not the kind of parental interference I wanted from you.

<PREVIOUS CHAPTERNEXT CHAPTER>

CHAPTER INDEX


48 thoughts on “Snarking Obsidian: Chapter 4

  1. I wonder how the swimming scene is gonna go… I’m also wondering if I even want to know… maybe it would have been better for the plot if Katy did tell her mom about him being a creep and he ending up camping on their porch. Imagine all the fun they would have had… not…

    Also- is it just me or this kind of getting boring in terms of plot progression and what is actually going on here, the point of it all? Or is this book only about Kety’s nethers torrential downpour and Daemon’s insufferability?

    Waiting for the next chapter like no tomorrow! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Spoiler warning: the swimming scene does not end with a happy Liam.

      Oh man, it is not just you. Absolutely nothing has happened so far, and (another spoiler warning) not much is going to happen for the next several chapters. I have my work cut out for me, trying to make these dull and infuriating chapters entertaining for you to read.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I vaguely remember the swimming scene from this book in a later chapter. I guess even if Daemon has pushed the boat from kind of intense paranormal love interest to creepy stalker at least Katy’s responses were pretty much what you’d expect when confronted with someone you don’t know offering (threatening)to take you swimming.
    And oh Katy’s mum, I feel she’s either going to be absent in this book or appearing at odd times to push Katy towards Daemon when she’s leaning too far away, like at the end of this chapter.
    Another great recap Liam, can’t wait for the next one! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope you’re prepared to relive it; I have a feeling it’s not going to live up to even your vaguest expectations.

      Yes, it’s awesome that she pushed back at him, and refused to go at first. Less awesome is how the fight goes out of her in under ten minutes, and then she just acts like it’s some mildly annoying chore that she might as well get over and done with. (And then the annoyance disappears. I really at least want her to keep that!)

      You might have to comfort me if Katy’s mom does keep randomly pushing her at Daemon, just FYI.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am definitely prepared to relive it, I’m already looking forwards to the next chapter recap from you.
        It feels like the author tried to make it so they had some kind of tension and cute back and forth with each other; but Daemon went too far into jerk territory so Katy went on the defensive and then when the author remembered this was supposed to be a romance she had them do a 180 almost.
        I’ll be ready to incase she does then. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the laugh friend, I needed it haha
    But seriously though, whose amazing idea was it to make YA parents completely incompetent? I really don’t understand how that happens in SO MANY paranormal/urban fantasy reads. I get that it happens in real life, some parents are really fucking shitty, but the sheer amount is ridiculous in YA

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? Like, this is a woman who, two days after moving across the country into a new house with her teen daughter, forgot that they need to buy food or else they’ll starve. Buying groceries to fill their empty fridge and pantry didn’t occur to this woman. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN. WHY. It’s absurd.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That makes absolutely no sense. The parents in a series I’m reading are kind of like that too, all the responsibility is on the daughter to make sure they all stay alive and fed. Then they get pissed and forbid her to see her boyfriend when they see she’s a little rebellious because she’s “not like that.” How do you know?!? You made her like that when you expected her to take care of herself!! Now you wanna play parent?! It’s so frustrating

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Okay, I’ll admit it: I LOVED the original trilogy when I first read them. Hardcore loved them. And I still really liked them the first time I reread them—and then I tried to reread them again about a year ago (to get prepped to ready Sinner), and I was like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. WHY IS THIS SO BORING AND NOT GREAT.

        I never finished rereading the trilogy, and never got around to reading Sinner. My heart’s kind of broken.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Awww I’m sorry friend, that’s sucky.
        That’s why I’ve put off re-reading some old faves because sometimes when you get older you stop enjoying the same things you used to. I have Sinner so I’m hoping to get to it this year and I’ll let you know if its worth it ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      4. It’s nice to maintain those warm memories of beloved old books, isn’t it?

        I’ll gladly let you read Sinner first! Thanks for potentially sacrificing yourself like that. (Though I do have moderately high hopes for it, since it was written so recently. Stiefvater’s writing has improved a lot since the original trilogy.) ❤

        Like

  4. Oh my god, I love this. Apparently I’ve read this book (and rated it one star on Goodreads) but I have NO recollection whatsoever of anything… except maybe like a veeeery vague memory of having read about something something a character called Daemon.

    I probably (probably) liked possessive douchebags when I was like, fourteen, but reading these things now makes me go all ???? because none of what Daemon did makes him attractive to me, and my teen self agreed, thankfully. He’s really kind of creepy. 😰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey there, Ruzaika! Welcome aboard 🙂

      Ha, I appreciate both your concern for my well-being and your lols. (Especially the lols; they’re the fuel that keeps me snarking.)

      If you think I missed any prime joke opportunities, or I didn’t get mad about something I should’ve, let me know! Audience participation is encouraged. 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember reading this book a few years ago and liked it. But when you actually look back on these sorts of books, much like how everyone looks back on Twilight, it makes you realise how wrong some of the characters’ actions are and how those actions are portrayed through the narration.

    I love your commentary though – hilarious but also pretty truthful! I will have to catch up on your other Throne of Glass one too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s always interesting to go back and reread books you liked when you were younger (and, in my case, less aware of the world, and what abuse looks like, and what feminism is, etc.). Whenever I reread something I loved a while back, I’m in a perpetual state of CRINGE, waiting to see if the book is actually a disaster or not.

      Does that happen to you often, or ever? (Hopefully not! It’s so much better to be surprised by how much you still love old favorites.)

      I’m eternally grateful for the fact that so many Twilight readers have become aware of how problematic it is. Hurray for that.

      Aw, thank you so much! I hope you like it! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think reading a book more than once always changes our perspective of books. (same with movies) We notice things we didn’t before whether that’s good or bad. Reading your snarks on Obsidian makes me wonder if I should hunt down a copy, but at the same time I’m almost dreading the idea now.
        Everyone knows books are influential, but I guess moments like these really prove how much so – especially when we’re younger and yes, less aware of the world. It shows how important it is to make people aware that these kinds of relationships in books are not okay and should change – or at least be recognised in the story in some form that they are bad. Otherwise it will effect more vulnerable people’s perceptions (for lack of a better phrase). – Ah this is getting a bit too serious!
        I hope you can retain your sanity while reading Obisidian! XD

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You said it all perfectly; I couldn’t agree with you more.

        You reminded me of something the amazing Cleolinda Jones said in one of her amazing recaps of the Twilight series:

        “You know, I think this would actually be a fantastic book/series if it were openly, straight-up about a psychotic obsessed stalker vampire and the girl just kinky enough to get off on it. Like, if the actual tone and/or theme of the book was that the whole thing was sick, but it was sick in a way that totally worked for them and that’s why they were perfect together, rather than Our Love, It Is So Epic and True.”

        (I’d highly recommend all her Twilight snarks, but that quote comes from this one: http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/638712.html)

        Honestly, I don’t think we can get too serious when we’re talking about topics like this! Serious is 100% called for. (Though lols do help break up the fury a bit.)

        Ha, thanks! Let’s see how it goes. 😄

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi. This snark is divine (as per usual), and I can’t believe you doubted it would be.

    You seem just as surprised as I am that Katy’s mom is still around because didn’t this book say she would be MIA? Also, the swimming scene is the literal worst thing I think I have ever experienced, and I can’t wait to read your thoughts on it because WOOF. Who told her she was allowed to write something like that?!

    I really need to pick this book back up again before I end up dropping it off like ToG.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was surprised; it’s like, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, GET BACK TO WORK.

      Oh my god. What’s your “favorite” part of the swimming scene? I think mine is when she’s up on the rocks and he’s in the water and they’re casually talking and he’s casually jumping up trying to GRAB HER ANKLE. WHAT THE FUCK.

      Yeah, I need to plow on ahead too; it’s been over a week since I read any of it. (I’m trying to stay three weeks ahead of my posting schedule, so I can take breaks for my sanity without anyone noticing.) I’ll try to be at chapter 15 by Sunday, maybe?

      If it helps your reading progress, do feel free to spam me with Twitter DMs as necessary.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. RIGHT?! Also, she comes in JUST to make her daughter go out with a guy who is obviously creeping her out? Like, we all know she was eavesdropping in the kitchen like she did when Dee was over there, so WTF, MOM. If you’re going to be present, do better.

        OMG. I loved that. Definitely coming first. Followed by the fact that Daemon was literally gaslighting Katy the whole time about whether or not he was really under water that long. That girl was actually worried about his unnecessary ass, and he just tried to make her think she was crazy instead. This book, Liam. The literal worst.

        You are so well-prepared. I would tell myself to always stay ahead and STILL end up a whole year behind.

        I think finishing this up will help me get over my hurt feelings from The Song of Achilles. Can’t think about how much my heart hurts when I’m fuming in anger at how someone could write this book. So, I’ll definitely be spamming you all my feels via Twitter.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my god, “gaslighting” is exactly the word I used in that chapter review, because that is exactly what’s happening. Your position as my favorite person is officially confirmed for knowing that term.

        Ha! Well, I’d be willing to wait prolonged periods for your snark, that’s for sure.

        Aw, your poor heart! I decided not to read TSoA because I know how the myth ends, and I don’t need more tragic, dead queers in my bookshelves; knowing you’re feeling emotionally broken after reading it just confirms the wisdom of my NOPE. I’m glad you can enjoy a nice, cleansing rage afterward. Looking forward to the spam! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. LIAM, THIS MOMENT ALSO CONFIRMS YOU AS MY FAVORITE PERSON. I obviously cannot wait to read that.

        ❤ Seee? I knew how it was going to end and thought maybe things would be different and MAYBE MY HEART WOULDN’T BE BROKEN BECAUSE I KNEW. But no. Here I am. Broken. Wandering around the earth. Screaming at people who have no intetest in books about my precious cinnamon rolls.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I need to figure this friendship bracelet weaving thing, stat.

        Oh, was that you I heard a couple hours ago? There was some wailing in the park across the street, but I couldn’t make out the words.

        Hopefully you’re enjoying your heartbreak, at least? Do you think you’ll ever reread it, or is this the kind of crushing book you can only read once?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. It’s okay. We got this!

        That was definitely me. Sorry for encroaching on your peace and quiet; but when the emotions hit, you’ve just got to let them run wild. I was probably screaming something along the lines of “arrogant little shit” and “PATROCHILLES!!!!”

        I am wallowing in it nicely. I’m typically not into rereads that often (please don’t tell my books. They’ll crush me in my sleep), but I think I might make an exception for this one. It now holds a special place in my heart as a ruiner of my soul.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Ah what a time to be alive. These snark reviews just keep getting better and better. God, I don’t remember this scene at all. I must have blocked its ridiculously abusive and scarily obsessive vibe from my poor mind. I remember disliking this book, but holy hell I didn’t realize it was so much worse than I had originally thought. At least Katy briefly acknowledges how uncomfortable Daemon the Douchebag makes her. But “He was insufferable” is not nearly a potent enough response to his creepy, insulting behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! I’m glad to hear it.

      It sounds like you have good self-preservation instincts, if you blocked these memories. Your brain is precious and doesn’t need to be polluted with this bullshit.

      You’re right, there is a comfort in the fact that Katy acknowledges that he’s awful (even if she’s not as upset about him as we are). And she continues to acknowledge it (at least, as far as I’ve read ahead), so hurray for that! Not that she ever decides to GET AWAY FROM HIM, of course. Aaaaaugh.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your reviews are almost making me want to reread the book, just so I can realize how bad it actually was. Back when I read this in middle or high school, I thought these behaviors were acceptable, because I’d read them so many times in other YA books. So, I accepted all these issues as the norm.

        Now that I’m older and much more aware of rape culture and other forms of abuse, I can see that Katy’s inaction and lack of self-preservation are seriously alarming. And on top of that Daemon exemplifies some horrendously creepy and abusive behaviors. Your analysis is brilliant and right on the money.

        I think it might be good for me to look at it with new eyes, but I also don’t want to subject myself to this BS again LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Let me know if you do end up rereading it, because I would absolutely need to hear your thoughts on it afterward. (But I wouldn’t blame you for not devoting those valuable hours to slogging through bad writing and an asshole alien.)

        My heart goes out to little Azia, who was so saturated in depictions of these behaviors as to believe they were normal and fine, and I’m so glad you were able to step out of that mindset. It’s my greatest hope that most (if not all) other readers in your position can do the same.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. hahahaha this just keeps getting better and better! Wow- I love a good inane conversation to get the romance going- I’m surprised they’ve not exchanged “what’s your favourite colour?” questions yet. Oh my goodness this has just gone from a bit creepy to super super dodgy!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Who the hell thought this exchange between them was okay?? And I think I prefer the absent parent trope to the stupid one! You’re not supposed to be there, parent, you’re ruining everything, go!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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