Snarking Obsidian: Chapter 11


Previously on  Obsidian, Katy’s discharged from the hospital into the tender care of Daemon’s many limbs. Later, she begins to wonder if maybe potentially there’s something a wee bit weird going on with the twins. AGAIN.

Note: all direct quotes are either in bold or block-quotes. If something’s in quotation marks but not bold or block-quotes, it’s paraphrased snark.


Chapter Index

CHAPTER 11

It’s bonding time for Katy and Dee and Dee’s incredible alien appetite, so Dee recommends a place that Katy takes one glance at and (raising her upper lip in a becoming sneer) deems “quite a . . . quaint restaurant.”

I found it kind of hard to imagine beautiful Dee hanging out here, eating hot turkey sandwiches and drinking milkshakes.

Places Katy Deems Unworthy of Being Frequented by Beautiful People:

  1. Grocery Stores
  2. Medical Facilities
  3. Any Dining Establishment Rated Below Three Stars by Michelin.

The girls talk about nothing much (though they mention the girl who’d died—supposedly possibly of a heart attack—the night Katy was attacked), and I’m just starting to wonder why I’m sitting through this scene when in struts the point: “the most physically flawless male [Katy’d] ever seen” but also “the biggest jerk on the planet.” Hello, Daemon.

Katy’s as not-thrilled to see him as I am, though for different reasons:

I slid my bandaged arm under the table. I was positive if he saw it, it would remind him of how inconveniencing I’d been.

Yes, how inconvenienced he must have been by you being attacked and almost killed. How inconsiderate of you to force him to rescue you and then spend the night with you like that. He could’ve been spending those hours—I don’t even know—binge-watching soap operas to brush up on the intricacies of realistic human behavior. You should be ashamed.

Katy and Daemon engage in inane pseudo-banter that’s threatening to bore me into a stupor, when “a very excited female” comes bouncing into the restaurant and velcros herself to Daemon’s bulging body. Katy, naturally, “couldn’t breathe” at the sight of breasts squished against him.

I forced myself to smile at the girl. I had no reason to be jealous or to care, but damn, this girl was pretty.

Again, I appreciate Katy’s effort to remain pleasant and sociable, as well as her self-awareness.

But do we really need yet another female protagonist who feels that another woman’s physical attractiveness is personally threatening, and who only believe herself pretty when the hottest guy in town pinky-promises sole ownership of his junk to her? Can’t we instead have protagonists who, like, explicitly remind themselves that beauty isn’t a competition, and being considered attractive by other people isn’t a girl’s highest possible achievement?

Dee introduces Katy to Ms. Unfairly Gorgeous, a.k.a. Ash, while Ash hastily swaps out her beauty-queen tiara for a bitch-extraordinaire jersey and some boxing gloves. “THIS HUMAN IS DISGUSTING, I CANNOT HANDLE IT,” she declares, followed by doomsday prophecies about how Katy will destroy them. And just as I’m hoping she’ll let slip something obvious enough to stick in Katy’s mind for more than two seconds (“We are aliens, A-L-I-E-N-S,” would maybe suffice?), Daemon lassos her and physically drags her out the door.

Katy, who’s blushing the blush of mortification and fury, asks Dee What The Fuck Was That, and Dee launches into an awkward explanation of how Ash and Daemon used to date so maybe Ash is jealous that Daemon had spent time with Katy and anyway Ash and her brothers are triplets and their family is close to Dee’s family and they’re all of them “a little weird” in ways Dee doesn’t specify and Katy doesn’t get curious about; Katy’s significantly more interested in the dual facts that (a) Daemon’s no longer dating Ash, and (b) Dee’s dating Ash’s brother Adam but hadn’t mentioned it before now.

Oh, and by the way, all the locals in the diner are staring at her and Dee like they’re monsters (reminiscent of the mother who hissed at her son to get out of Dee’s reach in the fateful dairy aisle of chapter two; clearly these people are more aware than Katy is that Something Is Up With These Twins), which Katy notices but for some reason gives absolutely not reaction to.

Scene change! It’s the first day of school, everyone’s staring like she’s a “two-headed alien” (I see what you did there), and this only gets worse when Daemon sidles his junk up behind her before class starts and gets all smirky and whispery in her ear in front of everyone. Oh, but first I should mention that as he’s swaggering in, he flipped some hair off his forehead, and “when he lifted his arm, he flashed a row of golden skin that somehow made math all the more interesting.

But hey, at least we no longer have to rely solely on Katy’s mom to confirm Daemon’s worth fantasizing about; two girls nearby giggle about wanting to snarf down a “Daemon sandwich” just before Daemon flops his sex appeal into the desk behind Katy’s.

So he leans forward and initiates a tedious conversation that leads to “an epic stare-down [Katy] refused to lose,” and culminates in Daemon dropping the minor bomb that he’s read Katy’s blog. The news morphs Katy into a Southern Grandma/Teen Caricature chimera (possibly the most painful of chimera breeds):

Oh. Dear. Baby. Jesus. How did he find it? Wait. More importantly was the fact that he had found it. Was my blog now Googleable? That was awesomesauce with an extra heaping of sauce.

(Also please note that this excerpt would’ve been more coherent if “Wait. More importantly was the fact that he had found it” was removed. As it is now, the excerpt basically reads, “How did he find it? Wait. More importantly, how did he find it?” The writing in this book is a continual pleasure to read.)

After class, the two girls who were hot for Daemon’s deli meat (Lesa and Carissa) fall into Interrogation Formation around Katy, wanting all the deets about how she got him to whisper sweet insults in her ear. “Half the population at this school would love to trade places with you,” Lesa assures us all.

Ah, but Lesa and Carissa have more on their agenda than praising Daemon’s chiseled bod; they’re here to provide plot-important info. See, Dee and Daemon aren’t twins, they’re triplets, and they arrived in town at the same time as Ash and her two brothers.

More scandalously, Dee and Daemon’s brother, Dawson, is missing and presumed dead.

DUN DUN DUN.


I’ve officially given up hope of Katy ever thinking critically about—much less investigating—any of the weirdnesses around her. My only expectation is that she’ll somehow twist Dawson’s disappearance around until it’s somehow about herself, the way a kid playing in the grocery store became about her lack of a sex life, and Daemon’s love for his sister became a tragic testament to how little he cares about Katy.

Boy, I can’t wait.

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CHAPTER INDEX


21 thoughts on “Snarking Obsidian: Chapter 11

  1. Do you think Jennifer Armentrout is consciously making every scene that doesn’t involve Squid-Boy so underwhelming that readers are actually waiting for the next time those green eyes and poetic lips come strolling in attached to those washboard abs?

    Meh. But I digress because it’s finally the first day of school! Only now, I’m regretting that she’s in school because here we are sinking further into Twilight-Land wondering if something more is going to happen or if we’re trapped in the perpetual “I know about the hot aliens so now I can throw out hot alien terms like I, too, am alien” cycle.

    I think my favorite characteristic of Katy is that she will turn every single thing about someone else into something about her. So, not only does she have the worst self-esteem I have ever read, she is also pretty self-important. What a great combination. Really makes me glad that she’s the one I have to deal with for all 300+ pages of this insufferable tale.

    P.S. “… the two girls who were hot for Daemon’s deli meat” Never again, Liam. Never. Again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s actually an ingenious tactic, and I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if that was in fact the intent (even if it was subconscious). It’s fucking awful, but hey, it actually works.

      Wait, are you saying you DON’T enjoy spending page after page reading about heroines sitting through classes brooding as they walk down halls and fumbling with their lockers and feeling lost in the crowd at lunch? I’m starting to question your devotion to YA.

      “So, not only does she have the worst self-esteem I have ever read, she is also pretty self-important. What a great combination.”

      Beautifully said. She’s everything we love in a heroine.

      Okay, I’ll admit that I am so smug about the deli meat thing. When my husband read it, he actually jerked back from the computer with an “Eurgh.” SUCCESS.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s SO bad, and I often found it hard not to roll my eyes at myself for even wanting Daemon to appear. Basically, good ol’ Jen tried to turn me into a less-watered down version of The Kitten.

        Oh no. My cover has been blown. Retreat! Retreat! … I mean, of course I love sitting through endless classes where there’s an immature guy poking our beloved heroine with his pen every day without fail. Bonus points for awkward lunches.

        Katy makes it so hard for me to actually care whether or not a bear eats her.

        Bahahahahaha. Liam: An expert in likening squids to deli meats.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The consistency was definitely a highlight. I was impressed this book managed to remember that was a thing.

        That bear. The bear deserved so much more than a write off. The bear was more developed than like… ALL the background characters.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. hehehehehehe “into the tender care of Daemon’s many limbs”- I’m dying!! hahaa I love the list of places that are not suitable for aliens- which, to be fair, I wouldn’t mind if they stay clear of. ahh yes how terribly ashamed Katy should be. Wait- what is with this?! Katy hasn’t figured out the fact they’re aliens yet… but they need another mystery in here just to spice things up? As if Katy’s ever gonna figure out that one. I mean I’ve lost track of all the things she’s practically been smacked round the face with and gone “huh strange, I should probably check that out… but ABS!” Seriously I know I just said this but I want to shake Katy out of her damn stupidity so badly!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really hope that Katy’s list of unsuitable locations grows to a healthy eight or nine by the end of the book.

      I know, right? WHY ARE THEY ADDING MORE MYSTERIES? She’s already failing so hard; they don’t need to make her fail even harder!

      Please do shake a clue into her head for me, I’d appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha yes! And yes!!! She’s not quick enough to figure out the genre she’s in isn’t contemporary romance but tentacle porn… Why would anyone expect her to be able to know how to act in a murder mystery?! Haha i wish i could!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think it’s beyond impossible for Katy to be redeemed in this book. She just seems so kind of vapid, like any thought in her mind that doesn’t include Daemon isn’t a thought worth happening. Also how is she unaware that her blog was Google-able? Does she not realise how the internet works? Then again that could explain why she hasn’t got very far in her research into Daemon and his weird alien-ness.
    Also I’d love it if girl-hate wasn’t such an overused trope in books. It’s not in all but in a lot you always have the quintessential mean girl who the readers are supposed to hate. Can we maybe throw that trope out?
    Still great recap, I can’t wait to see the next one! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suspect your right about Katy’s redeemability. I’ll hold out hope that she improves over the course of the series, but that’s probably not too likely either. Bah.

      “Then again that could explain why she hasn’t got very far in her research into Daemon and his weird alien-ness.”

      Ha! That’s an excellent point; maybe she just fails at interneting, period.

      Amen. I’d actually love to see a study on how reading girl-hate their fiction affects teen girls’ interactions and self-esteem in real life. Chances that this study exists: not great. (Sometimes I wish I’d pursued degrees in sociology or psychology instead of literature. Oh, well.)

      Thanks, Beth!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well it would probably be good if she did improve, at least a little, but I dunno I’m not really holding out hope either.
        Hopefully one chapter she will do some research, or we’ll see her use a computer and prove that point wrong! 🙂
        I much rather enjoy reading books where there are a close group of girl friends rather than books that have that character who’s only purpose is to be hated. I agree there’s probably a study out there and the fact that it’s needed is kind of sad.
        That’s all right! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. The plot thickens… but not much it seems! Certainly not enough for Katy to figure anything out. I am actually amazed by how passive she is, not to mention unlikeable – you mentioned in a previous chapter that everything happens TO her and she doesn’t actually make any significant decisions or figure anything out herself, and it’s so true. I think you’re right to give up on her thinking critically about anything. She won’t realise they are aliens until they point-blank tell her (or reveal the tentacles 🙂 … but even then she would probably dismiss it as a delusion if they convinced her to!). I’m also amazed by the quality of the writing in the examples you give – makes you wonder how much editing went into it.

    Btw I love your ever-growing list of places she deems unworthy of being frequented by beautiful people!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “The plot thickens… but not much it seems!”

      Ha! Perfectly said!

      Passive protagonists will probably be the death of me, and Katy’s an excellent example of one. Do you think I should have a hope that she becomes more active by the end of the book? I want to be optimistic, but I also don’t want to die from the trauma of repeatedly crushed expectations.

      The quality and amount of editing is definitely suspect; it’s not the worst writing I’ve ever read, though, so that’s . . . something.

      Ha, I’m glad you like the list! I appreciate Katy adding to it; here’s hoping it grows over the course of the book, for the sake of our lols!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes I hope she adds to the list, will be hilarious to see what other places beautiful people shouldn’t visit!!

        And I personally wouldn’t hold out hope of her becoming more active… I did that once with a book where the young heroine just kept getting saved by her angel love interest and not actively doing much at all – finally he was otherwise occupied in a battle, and she was captured and about to be killed, and I thought: surely this is the moment she saves herself! But no, angel lover finished the battle and swept in to save her again. Sigh.

        From what I’ve read so far this book seems likely to go in that direction… but who knows, Katy did throw that food so maybe she has some hidden spunk that will emerge once she finally figures out there are aliens around?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh no, which angel book are you talking about? I need to know in case I have it on my TBR. Save me from reading another aggravating book, Nicola!

        Yeah, I suspect you’re right that this book is doomed to an eternally passive heroine. I’ll still hope for that hidden spunk, though! I think the Great Revelation of Daemon’s Alienness is coming soon, so it shouldn’t take long to find out.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Haha, okay, the book was ‘Fallen’ – maybe you’ve already read it? It’s a pretty popular one. It’s been ages since I read it, and I did enjoy certain things about it, but I remember being disappointed by the ending and the fact that the heroine didn’t do much.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, Katy’s low self-esteem is giving me nightmares. She’s pretty self-centered isn’t she? All her thoughts are either focused on Daemon or on how she doesn’t measure up to anyone else around her. I mean, I know it’s natural for one to compare themselves to one another, but Katy somehow does it in a way that makes her lack of confidence seem egotistical. How is that even possible?! Arementrout’s writing is like nails on chalkboard. Just painful. So painful. I just can’t with this book. I don’t even know how I managed to finish this book. I’m impressed you’ve gotten this far without burning it LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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