Snarking Obsidian: Chapters 19 & 20

Previously on  Obsidian, Dee and Daemon spend two more chapters infodumping about aliens.

Note: all direct quotes are either in bold or block-quotes. If something’s in quotation marks but not bold or block-quotes, it’s paraphrased snark.


So I’m, like, over a week behind in responding to comments and reading your posts, which officially makes me the worst blogger in the history of bloggers. I’m sorry, guys; I’ll get back on the ball asap, I swear.

Chapter Index

CHAPTER 19

So the last chapter ended with the woe-cellos ushering in the revelation that Daemon and Dee’s brother Dawson fell in love with a human girl, resulting in both of their deaths. The angst now swells as Daemon explains How Forbidden Is The Love Betwixt Soft Defenseless Human Girl-Kittens And Squid.

I’ll spare you the details, except to mention that the Department of Defense found Dawson’s body but refused to let any Luxen see it, so it seems possible that Dawson isn’t as dead as the DOD’s making him out to be.

This touching scene ends with:

I was reluctant to leave, not because the water would be cold, but because I knew—I knew—that this little piece of the world we created, where we weren’t arguing or hating one another, wouldn’t last.

I repeat: if your relationship with a guy is 99% arguments and hatred, take that as a sign that you need to get the fuck out.

Also: Daemon’s mouth is usually saying GET AWAY, but almost everything else about him is broadcasting I’LL KEEP YOU CLOSE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. This has become increasingly clear to me as a reader; how long do you think it’ll take Katy to notice?

Scene change!

Katy’s chatting with Lovely Classmates Lesa and Carissa before class, until Daemon interrupts with a romantic pen-stab to her back and a sexily smirking “My house. After school,” which makes Lesa and Carissa burst into spontaneous jealusty and gives Katy a quiet case of the “YOU DON’T OWN ME”s. But his magic squid-ink trace on her body hasn’t faded yet, so she/we are doomed to a night trapped in Daemon’s house. Goodie.

Scene change!

Daemon follows her home and makes it clear who’s the boss of her:

“You have until 6:30 to be next door, or I’m coming after you.”

Scene change!

Katy arrives as Chez Black in time to witness probably the stupidest possible excuse a book has devised to give a heroine time alone with her love interest: Dee screams at Daemon for eating all her ice cream, then stomps out to go buy more:

“Ice cream must be very important,” I said.

“It is my life.” Dee swung her purse at Daemon but missed. “And you took it from me.”

I am absolutely looking forward to Daemon and Katy hanging out alone together some more, yes.

Things progress exactly as you’d expect: Daemon tries to trick Katy into performing some unknown but undoubtedly awful service (“So, Kitten, if I’m going to be your babysitter for the evening, what’s in it for me?”), he’s unnecessarily controlling of her whereabouts in the house (“HEEL, OR I’LL PUT A LEASH ON YOU”), and then:

DAEMON: [Suddenly pins Katy to the counter] “Puny mortal, do you know of my badassness? I am so much stronger and sexier than any human male, your mammalian brain can’t even begin to comprehend.”

KATY: “Fine. Whatever. Can you move?”

DAEMON: “NO.”

ME: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO?”

KATY: [Attempts to escape, but is, in fact, too puny to budge the “brick wall” that is his body]

DAEMON: [Grins at the futility of her struggle] “Ah, yes, this is an excellent time to remind you that I know you’re sexually attracted to me. Now let me vaguely insinuate that I might have feelings for you, and then slide my hand through your hair to cradle your skull as if I’m going to pillage your lips with my lips, and juuust as you’re closing your eyes and raising your mouth to my pillaging—ha HA! I’m actually just reaching for the water bottle behind you on the counter! Feeling like a fool now, aren’t you!”

And then they settle down to watch a movie together, and Katy bitterly angsts that “[i]magining him enjoying a movie night with [her] was more farfetched than the idea of aliens living among humans.

Honestly, her “this boy who literally cannot keep his tentacles off me and is always talking to me and goes out of his way to hang out with me could never actually enjoy spending time with me, woe” mentality is working up to being the cherry on the shitfest that is this “romance.”

Also, this:

He glanced at me, and I immediately faced the television.

“If you fall asleep during this movie, you’ll owe me.”

I turned to him with a frown. “Why?”

Daemon spared me a wolfish smile. “Just watch the movie.”

What the fuck is this.

Chapter 20

In school Wednesday, Katy notices that some of the teachers are gaping at her, so they must be aliens who can see the trace of Daemon’s power lighting her up like the sun.

During lunch, a friendly “walking mountain” of a classmate (Simon) heroically emerges from the unnamed masses of boys to chat with Katy and thus condemn himself to a lifetime of dealing with Daemon’s immature jealous totally obvious STEP AWAY FROM MY DISGUSTING SOFT DEFENSELESS KITTEN-GIRL antics.

I glanced back at Daemon, but he was already heading back to his table. I stood there for a moment, confused. What the hell had that  been all about?

I guess he’ll have to be even more unsubtle for her to figure this out.

Lovely Classmates Lesa and Carissa welcome Hufflepuff Dee to their table at lunch, which is great. Less great:

Every so often, Ash glanced over at our table, a deep scowl on her beautiful face. She had on an electric blue tube top that matched her eyes. The white shirt she wore over it was unbuttoned, revealing that she had a kickass body.

God, what was up with alien DNA? I got that they were otherworldly, but Jesus, did that include perfect breasts, too?

What does Ash’s artificially crafted alien body have to do with you, Katy. What does it have to do with this book. Why the fuck do books even bother with this pointless jealous harmful bullshit, I seriously want to know.

The girls’ conversation revolves entirely around Katy and Daemon—of course—and Dee casually suggests that she knows that Daemon’s all up on Katy’s junk (to Katy’s eternal and predictable disbelief).

The chapter ends with a weird non-sequitur about Sarah, whose name I didn’t recognize; she was apparently the girl who was killed on the same night Katy was attacked. Turns out the coroner confirmed she absolutely didn’t die of natural causes, which shocks Katy.

KATY: “Dee, was this the working of the Arum?

DEE: “Uh, yeah, but chill, Daemon killed him already.”

KATY: “But why would evil darkness monsters who gleefully torture to death anything that gets in the way of their life’s mission to destroy Luxen bother to kill an innocent human? It doesn’t make sense.

And I’ll just give you the final paragraph in its entirety, because its clumsy attempt at a tense chapter-finale is noteworthily bad:

Dee met my stare. “They don’t need a reason, Katy. The Arum are evil. They kill us for our powers.” She paused, paling. “And they kill humans for the fun of it.”

I mean . . . obviously? The twins literally spent three full chapters explaining how evil the Arum are; this isn’t a reveal worth ending a chapter on.


I’m amazed and delighted that we didn’t have to sit through two more complete chapters of infodumping—but I’m not sure what the point of these chapters was. The only noteworthy development in these chapters was Daemon opening up to Katy about his dead brother, which (presumably) only serves the purpose of advancing the romance a half-step; I’m sure you can guess how excited I am about that.

For those keeping track at home, we’re now 65% of the way through the book.

<PREVIOUS CHAPTER — NEXT CHAPTER>

CHAPTER INDEX


5 thoughts on “Snarking Obsidian: Chapters 19 & 20

  1. head in my hands … just.no.words.
    So, the bit about Ash and her breasts was just totally pointless observation in the paragraph? There seems to be a serious fault in priorities- as in girls go missing, there’re aliens ffs and yet the horrible ‘romance’ alternating with girl-hate seems to be in the spotlight?

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  2. Is there even a plot to this book? I mean as bad as you found Throne of Glass at least there was a plot to be found. So far this one seems to be Daemon and Katy’s budding relationship, which I really hesitate to even call that, a reveal which has info-dumped all over the book, and well that’s about it.
    Honestly I’m not sure how you’re still reading this, I mean well done for sticking with it but still…

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  3. OMG “I repeat: if your relationship with a guy is 99% arguments and hatred, take that as a sign that you need to get the fuck out.” This needs to be framed and stuck on every wall everywhere (though I’d switch out guy for “someone”, cos, you know). Also is it me or are there a lot of scene changes in this? Oh goodie, he’s making her share his taste in movies now (cos nothing shouts “this is totally a healthy relationship” like forcing people to enjoy the same things you do- or is this supposed to have some hidden messages or something? I mean, are they watching ET or War of the Worlds? (This may seem like a weird pedantic thing to pick up on and that would probably be cos I’m a weird pedant- but seriously- what even is this book?) Oh and now there are evil aliens… dum dum dum… Agree- it’s not exactly a big reveal at this point. This book is so lame.

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  4. “the woe-cellos” Why have I never heard of this? You need to coin this term so I can use it for the rest of my life. Also, I highly doubt Katy will ever notice anything damning about Daemon. This is our reality.

    I keep forgetting how much I didn’t like this book, then I read your snarks and think “Ah… There it is. Daemon is a creepy asshole; Ash is still only here to serve as jealousy fodder; and I’m still trying to piece together the answer to the question ‘So, what’s the plot?'” GAH!

    Review update (that you didn’t ask for): My review sounds so salty right now, and I keep staring it trying to make it “nicer” for the masses.

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